Friday, September 14, 2012
This is the name of the Bible Study I belong to. My daughter,Emily, named us that when she sent a thank you to the group for a shower gift. We started as 6 women who either had known each other for years or had kids that were friends or were neighbors. We belonged to different churches and different faiths. We take turns hosting it at our homes. We are a support group and very much personal friends, invited to weddings and graduations and barbeques and what not. We talk about issues in our families both good and bad. Women that know about us have asked to join and we have mostly said they could visit. I like our small size. We are now 9. One of our members invites others to come and I know it shouldn't bother me, and it wouldn't if we were just a Bible Study. We aren't. I don't like talking about personal things with people I don't know, no matter how nice they are. I am not a hugger either and when someone comes up to me that I don't know and wants a hug,I am uncomfortable. This is the latest invitee. Also, the more I learn about the LCMS, the more I am not sure about staying. There are times I just want to shake some sense into some! They don't get the infant baptism. Infants can't have faith and you can't speak for them. They don't understand what baptism is to us. To them it is about them....they decide to be baptized and accept Christ. They don't understand where whole households were baptized. That means whole households....not just of a certain age. They still have to dedicate. There has to be some ceremony. But there again it's something they do...they bring their child to God...they dedicate it. God takes our child and makes it His in baptism. Infants have faith. One of the blogs I read talks about a study done that proves it. Also all infants were baptized in all churches until fairly recently, when people decided it couldn't be right. One of the ladies actually said she had never heard of baptism being a means to salvation. They don't understand closed communion. I do. I don't want to take communion in a church where they don't believe in the real presence. I wouldn't think they would want to take communion in our church either. I like the liturgy. It is comforting to know what to expect and that you can go to most LCMS churches and feel at home. I don't like praise bands. I want to hear law and gospel. I don't need a coffee shop. I feel comfort in the aroma of coffee brewing in the basement. I don't need a stage and huge tv monitors. I need hymns and an altar to worship at. I want a communion railing to kneel at and receive forgiveness. To be able to look at Jesus looking back at me and feel peace. I want to keep these women as friends desperately. I'm just not sure I can keep going to the Bible Study. I feel we aren't in the same place. I'm not sure what to do. The church doesn't have a women's Bible study and the one the Pastor leads, is at 6:30am. I am getting Alair ready for school at that time. I know it will all work out some how.
It has been several days since the incident and I still have a hard time dealing with it. I won't go into detail, but I was hurt to the core and humiliated. I still want to cry and have a hard time getting anything done. Of course no one would know it by looking at me. I can put on a good front. There was an apology, but I just don't think the other party gets it. Eventually I will get over it. I just wish I could feel happier.
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Monday, September 3, 2012
So it's Labor Day. Alair starts school tomorrow. She will be in second grade. I don't know where the time has gone. It seems like just yesterday she was a tiny infant we were fighting to adopt. Now she is seven and full of opinions and ideas. Claire will be starting kindergarten tomorrow at the same school Alair is attending. Aubrey will take her there and she will ride the bus here with Alair in the afternoons. The summer has just flown by. With the wedding and trips and exchange students,it has been the shortest summer ever for me.That's ok,I don't tolerate heat and autumn is my favorite season. I love the fall colors, but I guess there won't be many this year because of the dry, hot summer. Aubrey and I went shopping and got her pattern and fabric for a new dress. I will start tomorrow after the opening chapel service at Alair's school. I am looking forward to new projects and trying new things. I also think I will buy fabric to make another chasuble for our church. Hopefully blue and ready for the advent season. The first one I made was red and ready for confirmation. I want to make all colors if possible. So today we are invited to Swedberg's for a spitted lamb. I has become kind of tradition. I am making bread to take. I told Alair we would go swimming tonight and get her stuff ready for school. Hope she gets to bed at a decent time.