Well, I'm sitting here in my chair watching The Little Mermaid with Alair. We just got done eating popcorn. Kim is in his office working on his new computer. He was in here watching the first movie...Despicable Me2.
I think about the past, present and future. How I have raised the kids..who they are. Should I have done things differently? Probably at least some. I think back to my parents...things they did right and wrong. I know they did the best they could..and it was mostly good. I am very thankful for my upbringing. I even think back to my grandma...I only knew one. We live in their home. She was a character. She and my grandpa would fight in German so we wouldn't know what they were saying. I wonder what our kids will think of how we raised them and what kind of influence I will have on the grandkids. We had Sunday Dinner at Grandma and Grandpa's almost every Sunday. As our kids were growing, we had Sunday Dinner at either my parents or Kim's most Sundays until the car accident. Then it became easier for us to have Sunday Dinners and holidays. Now we have Sunday Dinners here most Sundays for whoever can be here.
I think about the health issues I have and how they will effect things. I can't walk very fast. I can't go up and down stairs very well. I need to lose weight and exercise. It is very expensive to heat the pool, but we did some financial things so hopefully er can keep it warm. I really like swimming. I also need to watch my diet closer so the diabetes doesn't get worse fast. I want to be around to see the grandkids grow up. It's not easy raising another child. A nine year old girl. Sometimes I wonder if we did the right thing. Was it fair to her to have older parents? And sibling so much older than she? But I can't imagine our lives without her. But will I see her wedding? And her children? I hope so.
This is the night to reflect on things. I'm not much for resolutions. I will just keep trying to do better at things and not try to be perfect. It is all in God's hands. He has blessed me so much with the family I have. I will also be thankful for all I have. I will trust that He knows what's best. I will try.
1 comment:
My eldest daughter moved out last year and has started life on her own. I think a lot about some of the same things you do, how I did as a parent and what I could have done differently. It's always easier to view things in hindsight, however, partially because I can view me from the past as having more energy and fewer outside pressures as I really had.
I hope your 2015 goes well and you accomplish many of your goals.
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